My Mommy

My mummy was/is/will/ always be larger than life.

Well, I am sure all kids feel the same way. So what is new.

Just that I loved her very very much and never ever wanted her to die and leave me feeling like this.

 See I am talking about how I was worried about how I will feel. Typically like a kid who wants his/her mommy to always be there because this makes the entire world right.

All worries, tensions fears are soothed by a mother's loving hand on the head, light touch on the back. She says, " Go on. Go on now. It is all right" and this makes us bold and ready to take on the world.

She celebrated her 66th marriage anniversary a day before she succumbed to the massive heart attack on August 31, 2011.

Every time I had parted from her, in the recent years I left her with, "Mummy marna mat" (Mummy don't die).

Macabre though it was, I wanted to see her again and meet her, hug her one more time and thought that she will always be there.

Well this time she was not.

We spent a wonderful seven days together just two weeks ago. My sister and I (sans husbands) with our parents, in our parental house. Sibling rivalry and all. It was back to our childhood with me the Miss Two goodie shoes (as my daughter enlightened me later). It was no holds barred. I had to be the favourite child (period) by hook or by crook. 

Yesterday, I hugged her for the last time and kissed her knowing full well that I will never be able to do this again.

I have so much to write about her but don't know what to say and what to keep back. so till I am more sorted,  "Mommie I did not want you to go. Why did you? Couldn't you have lived forever?"